IELTS helyett

Az egyik Job Search Seminar-on volt egy önértékelő angol tudásszint felmérő kérdőív, direkt nem fordítom le:

1. Beginner- I have some spoken & written English

2. Elementary- I can speak & write in simple sentences about myself. Pronounciation errors make it difficult for others to understand me.

3. Intermediate- I can speak about different topics, but have  pronunciation and grammar problems that make it difficult to express or follow complex ideas.

4. Advanced- I can carry on a conversation about many topics with only a few  pronunciation and grammar problems. I can understand and use some Kiwi English.

5. Native Speaker Fluency- I can carry out conversations on any topic without grammar and pronunciation errors. I can understand Kiwi jokes.

Ezen felbuzdulva úgy döntöttem, hogy új rovatot indítok és időről időre megosztok veletek kiwi vicceket... Ja, merthogy garage sale-en vettem egy Great Kiwi Jokes könyvet... Következzen az e heti, a 'Sex, love and marriage' kategóriából:

Nicki accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After the check up the doctor took Nicki aside and said:

'Your husband is suffering from severe long-term stress and it's affecting his health. If you don't do the following four things, your husband will surely die. First, each morning, fix him a tasty breakfast and send him off to work happy. Second, at lunch time, make him a warm, nutritious meal and give him a whole lot of kisses before he goes back to work. Third, after dinner, give him a massage and make sure you don't nag him about anything. Fourth, and most important for relieving stress, have sex with him every day in whatever position he fancies.'

On the way home in the car, the husband turned to Nicki and said:
'So, I saw the doctor talking to you and he sure seemed serious. What did he tell you?'

'You're going to die'- she replied.